Domestic abuse is where an intimate partner (including ex-partners) or a family member causes harm to a person aged 16 or over. This includes physical abuse, sexual abuse, emotional or psychological abuse, coercive control and economic or financial abuse. Domestic abuse also includes forced marriage and so-called ‘honour’ based abuse. Domestic abuse can continue for years even after a relationship has ended. It can have long-lasting impacts on both the non-abusing parent or carer and their child’s health and wellbeing. When domestic abuse is happening in their family, children are now recognised in law as victims of domestic abuse in their own right.
Examples of common impacts of domestic abuse on children
- Behavioural changes such as bedwetting, insomnia, issues with school attendance, problems with concentration and hypervigilance (being overly alert or sensitive to the environment).
- Unhealthy coping strategies such as eating disorders or substance misuse.
- Copying harmful behaviours against peers, parents, siblings, or other family members.
- Anxiety and depression which can lead to stress related physical conditions.
- Problems developing healthy relationships and being more vulnerable to sexual exploitation or harmful sexual behaviour.
- Overachieving due to fear of failure or repercussions from the perpetrator.
- Children acting as young carers to their parents or their siblings.
- Long-term impacts on children’s brains and their development which can be hard to overcome even into adulthood. This is sometimes referred to as developmental trauma.
- Physical injury, or even death, as a result of intervening during an incident of physical violence
It is important to recognise that domestic abuse affects children and young people in different ways depending on the child, their age, and the specific situation.
Questions to consider and discuss
It is hard for someone to disclose that they are experiencing domestic abuse. Questions such as these can be helpful:
- How are things with your partner/family member?
- Has anything happened with (…) to make you feel this way?
- Is there anything about your relationship that you would change?
Many victims and survivors may not use the label ‘domestic abuse’ for their experiences. They may describe particular behaviours and you may need to step back and view the whole situation to fully understand what is happening.
Coercive Control – Essential Considerations
- A perpetrator does very substantial harm to the children if they subject the victim/ survivor to coercive control. This abuse amounts to neglect of the children and reflects extremely poorly on the perpetrator as a parent or care giver.
- Even though the children may not have seen the perpetrator physically attack the victim/survivor the perpetrator’s coercive control is still extremely serious and is a parenting choice.
- Even post-separation, a perpetrator’s coercive control is not ‘in the past’ or ‘historic’. It is still very much relevant to parenting arrangements after separation.
- When children are reluctant, resistant, or refuse contact with a parent or carer, think about whether this is because of the domestic abuse they have lived with, listen to their worries and concerns, and take them seriously. Where children are very young listen to the worries and concerns of the non-abusing parent or carer.
Working in a Trauma Informed Way
For too long victims and survivors have felt blamed by agencies for ‘not protecting their children’ when it is the perpetrator of abuse who is causing the harm. Trauma informed practice means that the victim and survivor is believed, their strengths and efforts to keep their children safe are recognised and validated, and that services work with the non-abusing parent to increase safety. This approach means that survivors are able to trust professionals to work with them to reduce risk and harm.
Support children by using the Safe and Together Model. The principles of which are that:
- Children should be kept safe and together with their non abusing parent or carer.
- Workers should partner with the non-abusing parent or carer as their default position.
- Services need to work together to hold perpetrators to account in order to reduce risk and harm to children.
Action
- If a person discloses domestic abuse to you, it is important to complete a DASH (Domestic Abuse Stalking Harassment and Honour-Based Violence) risk assessment and refer or signpost them to IDAS (Independent Domestic Abuse Services).
- Be careful to complete the DASH safely; at a time and location that doesn’t put anyone at higher risk.
- Contact the Safeguarding Hub because Domestic Abuse is a safeguarding issue.
- When you are working with a family remember that children can be affected and harmed by domestic abuse for many years. Specialist local services such as Haven and Door 43 can provide support.
Further Information
For advice and referrals, contact IDAS via the Sheffield Domestic Abuse Helpline: 0808 808 2241 or through their website at www.idas.org.uk
DASH assessments (including the Young Person’s DASH assessment for use with young people aged 13 and over) and further information about MARAC (the Multi-Agency Risk Assessment Conference) are available at https://sheffielddact.org.uk/domestic-abuse/resources/marac-information-and-forms/
For further information regarding domestic abuse, including children being recognised as victims of domestic abuse, you can refer to the Domestic Abuse Act 2021 available at https://www.legislation.gov.uk/ukpga/2021/17/contents and the statutory guidance at https://assets.publishing.service.gov.uk/government/uploads/system/uploads/attachment_data/file/1089015/Domestic_Abuse_Act_2021_Statutory_Guidance.pdf
Support for children and young people experiencing domestic abuse can be accessed from Door 43 (https://www.sheffieldfutures.org.uk/door43/) and Haven (https://www.havenorg.uk/)
For more information about Safe and Together visit https://safeandtogetherinstitute.com/